in the course of conversation the other night, i was faced with the reality that although storytelling is crucially important to our knowledge of ourselves and others (see parts 1 and 2), we may at times be reticent to tell our own stories, or pieces of them. afterwards, i started thinking about the reason for this.
on its face, it is obvious. there are stories i don't want to tell because they reveal a side of myself that i may not be proud of, or comfortable with, or expect other people to be comfortable with. but, returning to the original hypothesis (People want to be Known), this potentially creates two conflicts: 1) people may not want to be completely Known, for any number of reasons, and 2) people may be afraid of being misunderstood, i.e., someone believes that they know them, but their knowledge is incomplete or inaccurate.
or perhaps, if the goal of telling one's story is to make that sacred connection with another person, maybe the hesitance to tell a story stems from a motivation towards efficiency. if one fears or even anticipates that the connection might not be made, why waste the energy telling the story? that effort could be better spent relating a part of the story that would be more likely to build the connection, to make oneself better Known.
[this installment is not cohering the way i want it to.]
1 comment:
"that effort could be better spent relating a part of the story that would be more likely to build the connection, to make oneself better Known."
what if the only way to make oneself better known is to tell that part?
knowing someone doesn't just mean knowing the good stuff or what the other person wants you to know. then you only know what he wants you to think he is, not what he actually is.
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