29 June 2008

mix tape iv

recorded on an actual cassette tape
mailed to a friend who's driving an old old SUV for her job this summer

side A:
1) Left on Laura, Left on Lisa - The Avett Brothers
2) You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go - Bob Dylan
3) I'm On My Way - The Proclaimers
4) We Will Vacation, You Can Be My Parasol - Be Your Own Pet
5) So Nice! - Win A Sheep Free
6) I vow to thee my country - Libera
7) Yukon Sally - Peter Mayer
8) Once In a Lifetime - Talking Heads
9) Why Don't We Do It In The Road - the Beatles
10) The Boy from Ipanema - Ella Fitzgerald
11) Skyler - Brad Yoder
12) Rusty Cage - Johnny Cash
13) You Will Love This Song - Amber Rubarth

side B:
1) Scarborough Fair/Canticle - Simon & Garfunkel
2) No Rain - Blind Melon
3) When The Night Feels My Song - Bedouin Soundclash
4) Skylark - k.d. lang
5) Do You Realize?? - The Flaming Lips
6) I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today - from Avenue Q
7) Carey - Joni Mitchell
8) Jesus Doesn't Want Me For A Sunbeam - Nirvana
9) House of Earth - Mad Agnes
10) Thorn In Your Side - Namoli Brennet
11) Wonderwall - Oasis
12) Yellow Ledbetter - Pearl Jam

20 June 2008

19 June 2008


it's been more than a week, so i have to write something.

what is it about wanting what you can't have.....the chase is always the most interesting part.
i've been waiting for years for this to become untrue.
i feel like i've written this here before, but i can't find it.

timing really is such a tricky thing.

sorry; that's all i can muster right now.

11 June 2008

while flying west to seattle (excerpts)


takeoff is my favorite part. that single moment when the wheels are suddenly no longer on the ground, when everything familiar falls away from beneath you and you think, "there's no turning back now"...when the added gravity pushes me back into my seat, i get a rush of elation and realize i am Free.

the Midwest is FLAT!

we are chasing the sun as it sets.

i am still, i think, happiest when moving. it has been this way for a long time. change is good; stagnation is suffocation. every adventure, no matter how long, is not only worthwhile but vital.

i have felt since i was a child that i [would] belong among the clouds. perhaps not to live, but certainly for a vacation. my conviction has only grown as i have become older that the clouds are populated by some glorious, celestial beings--not angels anymore, but mystical queens and kings of this realm.

the person behind me just closed the window i could see out of. this makes me sad. i like sitting just behind the wing, but it does limit my field of vision a bit.

i am flying parallel to a thunderstorm, and this seems fitting somehow.

nothing quite like hearing "Defying Gravity" when you are literally miles above the ground.

i'm troubled by the idea that if i start working now toward the life i expect i will want when i'm 26 (that once arbitrary number is now well-established), i will undoubtedly do something in the next 5 years to mess it up irreparably.

i'm always so reluctant to sleep on the plane, especially when i'm flying over a new part of the country, because i don't want to miss anything!

where are these mountains i have so greatly anticipated? are we too far north? i was sure they ran all the way up....

the sun has sunk below the clouds, and sets them ablaze
this has got to be the most beautiful sunset i've ever seen.

06 June 2008

serious thought:

the trouble with being a writer is
sometimes you don't like the words you put into real life
but there's no way to revise them.

02 June 2008

meter experiment (parts)

Alone, my room is cold and empty
While I think there must be plenty
Words awaiting just beyond the reach of my imprisoned brain;
Still I grasp for self-expression,
Knowing I must make confession,
if I am to conquer this, to make a literary gain.

I suffer silence, lacking nightly
That which I'd been using rightly
'Til my words escaped and I was left with nothing more to say;
Rack my mind with constant fervor,
Wond'ring if I might deserve her,
Realizing it's my guilt that makes me now still feel this way.

We wandered the streets aimlessly
And silence once more cornered me
When she next uttered words to me beneath the streetlight's misty glow;
She said without a look, "I'm leaving."
How could I explain my grieving
For this thing I'd barely had and never fully come to know?

The greatest loss is loss of chance,
To know that every second glance
Could be your last and you may never get to see her face again;
Potential's its own entity
And so has personality,
For which it's possible to grieve, just like a well-beloved friend.

Stanzas 1, 2, 8, and 9 of 16--obviously there's a lot more, but you get the idea.
I had the meter in my head and needed to write about this, but think it might be prudent not to publish the rest at the current time.
Needs some revision.