2018 in key dates

January 21: attended second Women's March

January 23: got on the jumbotron at a Penguins game

January 28: saw Wicked

January 29: got my official acceptance letter in the mail

February 5: concussion

February 14: the Parkland shooting

April 4: my cat died

April 17: hurt my thumb

missed six weeks of work on short-term disability, which included the final weeks of my last school year at the place I worked for 5 years

April 30: hand surgery (first surgery; first joint repair)

May 19: officially moved into Co-Lez's apartment

June 1: Dylan won Mr. Pittsburgh Pride Drag King!

June 19 (this sounds too early to be true): last appointment with my therapist of five years

June 29: got my Pittsburgh three rivers tattoo

July: turned 31

July 19: Foo Fighters concert!!!

July 26: last day at my clinical job

July 27: paid off the credit card debt left over from my four-years-ago marriage

July 28: Alec won Mr. Steel City Softball back!

August 1: moved to the middle of nowhere

August 22: started Ph.D school!

September: started asking for they/them pronouns in my new professional setting

September 17: my abusive ex's partner after me reached out

October 27: the terrible thing happened in Pittsburgh

October 29: committed to a mitzvah to forgive a grudge (still working on it)

October 31: officially out of my abusive relationship for longer than I was in it

November 6: voted a straight-party Democrat ticket

November 22: cooked my first Thanksgiving meal

November 27: met Frank Warren from PostSecret

December 7: finished my first semester of Ph.D school

December 20ish: found out I got A's!

New home

I live somewhere else now.

I cooked dinner on the stove tonight, which helped me feel more normal. It's the fourth day of living here. Dinner was nothing fancy--sausage and peppers--but it meant that I have done enough unpacking and organizing to use a pan, a cutting board, a knife, a big spoon, some countertop, and the stovetop. (My original approach to unpacking cookware was to stack it all on the stove so I could see it and figure out what to do with it. That lasted about two days. Combining two full sets of kitchen stuff into one tiny kitchen is a process.)

Oh yeah, that's the other part. I officially live with a partner again. We've been living together for about three months already, depending on how you count, but now we are in the same place, with all our stuff in the apartment (instead of mine stored in the garage), with both our names on the lease. This is only the second partner I've ever lived with, and given how the first one turned out, I've been understandably apprehensive. I'm not nervous about this one--they're good. They're a good person, and they're good for me. But when you've been tricked, goodness doesn't seem as genuine. I'm still rebuilding that trust, and I kind of expect that I always will be.

The view from my front window used to be a brick wall, and now it's trees. The row has a backyard with bunnies in it. There are no tall buildings, and there are mountains everywhere. I'm so disoriented. On day 1, it was an enormous relief to walk into Target: basically the same everywhere.

Every successful drive without GPS feels like a victory.

My partner had to go back to Pittsburgh for another week to finish their job, so I'm alone with both our cats in an apartment full of boxes, and no one expects me to be anywhere until the middle of the month. There is a heady freedom in that, and also the knowledge that two weeks without structure and routine will probably be the most that I can handle. Boxes and furniture and checklists. 

I cried when I came through the Fort Pitt Tunnel for what could be the last time.

I am about to be a doctoral student. What an exciting, scary adventure.