Wow. fragmented thoughts. incomplete thinking. moving by sense. everything just happened.
dressing room with strangers and some friends. coloring a sign on the floor, signing a waiver not to fall off the stage, so many things have changed and so many are still the same. I had to keep reminding myself: "This is not my job."
Putting on face. Binding my breasts with Gorilla Tape. Borrowing a packer from my husband (what?). I couldn't keep the smile off my face when I listened to my song for the last time, backstage while Marsha began to introduce the show.
My brain was so disorganized. I kept putting things down and then losing them when they were right in front of me. I got cranky with C and that's not fair. I pulled it together.
Watching baby queens and "try anything once" kings and my brothers asked me to join them on stage. Not gonna lie, it felt really good to be the first person who appeared on stage as Marsha announced "Hot Metal Hardware." The boys who put that number together did an incredible job. I experienced a new side of each of five kings I know, some of whom I've known for a long time. It was an honor to be included.
I can't wait to see the video.
I'm not sure how to write about my number. There's a very pretty page in a very playful new journal about it. I don't think I want to give you the plot summary, or talk about how it went, because some of you will see it and I want you to experience it the way you need to, without my bias. I am proud of what I made, and so grateful to the people who helped me make it. This was a life-changing performance for me.
Oh, and I really enjoyed being in drag and not being an asshole. This new Christopher Crash might just work out.