18 October 2015

Sunday Morning Affirmations

I make really good zucchini bread.

I had a good chat with my dad on the phone yesterday for his birthday.

I am taking the time I need to take care of myself. I am evaluating my habits, thoughts, and actions.

I am trying to remember that there is no such thing as "should."

I eat the food I have, and I am grateful for it.

I think about the future. I have several-year-distant plans for my career. This is important.

I am making friends and acknowledging my reluctance to trust. I am learning about boundaries: how to set them, how to enforce them, and how to respect other people's.

I am aware of the privilege that allows me my comfort. I pray for its obsolescence, and for my courage in giving up my privilege where I can to support the liberation of others.

11 October 2015


so, my car got stolen last week. that's all i'm going to say about it on the internet, because there are open investigations. i still don't have it.

i'm pretty sure i broke somebody's heart last night. she made the choice herself, and i am so proud of her for doing it. we both know that the best for her is better than what i can give her. it's time to be very real about that.

timing is everything.

i have felt angry about being so fucked up that when i finally met a good, honest person, i couldn't trust her. i survived a relationship that destroyed my ability or willingness to trust other people. there is still anger there, towards the person who put me through that, but i am also moving into acceptance of it as my fate. these are the consequences of the choices that i made, and some made by other people. these are the lessons i get to learn now. she helped me come so far towards trust, and i don't think she knows how important she's been to me. she makes safe places for me.

realizing in the moment of leaving that you love someone, and discovering the way that you love them. to love is to seek and foster the good of another. there is better for you than me. go find her.