04 April 2009

[on the rag]

i told you, "i've decided that tampons
are the greatest invention ever."
and you said, "yes!!
because they can make you feel like there's nothing wrong with you!"

...and i wonder:
is there something wrong with me?
i am distrusted
because i bleed this much and don't die,
but maybe
i should distrust those who can't bleed this much
and live.

who decided
this needed to be
taken care of,
cleaned up,
fixed?
that it was taboo,
not to be talked about,
even when i am in pain
so bad it makes me not want to move?

when did my
menstruation
become
pathologized?

there is nothing unnatural
or wrong about this.
even the moon runs in cycles--
monthly, at that--
but at least she gets to go into hiding for a few days.

i will celebrate it.
i will go out and paint the town red
with the blood of my mothers
my sisters
my cousins, my daughters.
and maybe this is just my inner feminist
bleeding through,
but if your body touches my body
so deeply
that i bleed your blood and i follow your path,
how could we not talk about it?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Psst!

http://community.livejournal.com/menstrual_cups

It's a beautiful thing.

Troll said...

i didn't really mean to be offensive when i said that it makes you feel like there's nothing wrong with you. i'm sorry if it bothered you, but i have a very different view of things. i grew up not talking about it and always feeling ashamed of it. i still don't like it, and i hate what happens to me during that time of the month. i don't think i'll ever get over feeling awkward and out of my own skin every time. maybe someone can help me with that some day. part of me feels that i'm not a real girl because i can't be proud of something like this. i mean, there are a lot of things that make me feel like i'm not a true woman.
can i be a real woman and a real man at the same time without feeling diminished in either respect? i've been trying to figure that one out for a while.

K said...

goodness! i wasn't offended, it just made me think--which is always a good thing, in my opinion. i'm not proud of it either, but i may be a little angry with the patriarchal structures that have prevented me from being so. no matter what feminist tirade i may go on, it's still a pain in the ass. i like getting my period, but i hate having my period. actually i think this month was the first time i specifically hated getting it, and that was mostly because of the ironic timing.

as for your dichotomy problem...i believe/hope the answer is "yes," but i'm not sure how to get you there.

i am really curious who left that link here...

Anonymous said...

You both make good points.

Personally, as someone who was at one point too thin to even have a period, its monthly arrival reminds me of my body's well-being and of how precious personal health can be. However, that knowledge doesn't make me feel any less nauseous/depressed/[insert choice adjective here] each month; it just makes the cycle more tolerable.

As for the sex/gender feminist/non-feminist dichotomies: *sigh* are we really talking about dichotomies on this blog? I understand Troll's point about not feeling like a "real" girl/woman for not celebrating the cycles of the female body, though I question the use of the word "real". (What defines a "real" wo/man?) Yet I understand the question[ing] because I've gone through the same struggle with the feminist community. We can bond over stories of menstruation and we can bond over the repression we face about sharing those stories in a patriarchal culture, but that doesn't mean we all have the same stories to tell. Books, anthologies, doctoral theses have been written on this subject. Nobody needs to validate the authenticity of your experience, whether that be an experience of your sex, gender, mind/body connection, childhood experience, etc. Only you can do that.

~B.

K said...

((september))
i'm thinking about this a lot today.