timing

so, my car got stolen last week. that's all i'm going to say about it on the internet, because there are open investigations. i still don't have it.

i'm pretty sure i broke somebody's heart last night. she made the choice herself, and i am so proud of her for doing it. we both know that the best for her is better than what i can give her. it's time to be very real about that.

timing is everything.

i have felt angry about being so fucked up that when i finally met a good, honest person, i couldn't trust her. i survived a relationship that destroyed my ability or willingness to trust other people. there is still anger there, towards the person who put me through that, but i am also moving into acceptance of it as my fate. these are the consequences of the choices that i made, and some made by other people. these are the lessons i get to learn now. she helped me come so far towards trust, and i don't think she knows how important she's been to me. she makes safe places for me.

realizing in the moment of leaving that you love someone, and discovering the way that you love them. to love is to seek and foster the good of another. there is better for you than me. go find her.