reaffirmation

i turned out looking delightfully butch this morning. i'm pleased. on the flipside of this, i'm wearing a beater and it's making me want to do some upper-body work :\

i had a series of moments earlier this week where i realized i'm sick of living in drag. i've spent entirely too much time this academic year looking like a girl because i feel like i have to. [note: I LIKE MY VAGINA.] so thursday night i rocked the flannel and ratty jeans because y'know what? i can pull it off, and i felt better that way, especially after so many days/weeks of skinny jeans and "conservative hair." i basically dressed as myself from four years ago, with better hair and an awareness of makeup.

don't get me wrong. i know i can pull off skinny jeans too, and i frequently enjoy doing it. we've all just been seeing way too much of my femme side recently. although she's interesting/pretty/fun for a little while, i landed firmly in the realm of genderqueer somewhere along this journey. it's the first concept of my own gender that's ever really made me feel comfortable. everyone who identifies as genderqueer has their own understanding of what it means, and for me, it means the freedom to express any gender in/on/with my person. i love the fluidity, the possibility of being anywhere along the gender spectrum at any given moment. i guess i just hate stagnation everywhere, and it's time to move again.

in closing, to quote the esteemed gender theorist RuPaul: "you're born naked. everything else is drag."