post-appointment

this is not My Thing to blog about. (not to be confused with My Thing to Blog About.) it doesn't belong to me, and i kinda feel bad writing about it as if my perspective and my experience and my frustrations are important. but then, part of this does belong to me, and the fact that it's different and arguably secondary doesn't make it less real.

i guess that was the disclaimer.

fridays are counterproductive. i think it might be that they immediately follow thursdays, and by the time thursday is over, i definitely need a break. so it makes sense that i've done nothing today except sit in front of the computer, chat on IM, play first person tetris, and run shuttle service to persad. (i did make a flier for something...but i have yet to put them up.)

i don't know what i'm supposed to do at this point. a lot of it on my end is waiting. and we all know by now that i am not the most patient person on the planet. amendment: i have a lot of patience for people who need it. and honestly, i think this is the sort of thing i'd rather happen slowly, so as not to thoroughly shock the system. [but i just can't do anything. i just can't do anything.]

my current pet distraction: http://symphonyofscience.com

i have questions, too. i don't even know what they all are yet, or where to begin asking them, or who to ask who can draw out the ones that are still forming.

i'm not complaining. i am so excited for this, and i'm so glad that things are moving. but as i worded it earlier, "i just want to be involved through every step of this process, but i know i can't be." the answer to "why not?": "because ultimately, it's not me."

furthermore, if you don't have to go through this alone (and instead have to not go through it alone), why should i?

this is disorganized, but it's a fair representation.