gender is so embedded in our culture that we don't even know what to do with the idea that it could be unimportant.
watching 2 videos in class on teaching personal pronouns to kids with autism, especially the difference between "he" and "she," starting with "Is it a boy or a girl?"
...why is this so important to treat in our children? why does it matter if the figure on a card is "a boy or a girl," and who are you to make that judgment? what is that child supposed to do if they see a person and they've learned to ask "Is that a boy or a girl?" but they don't know? (and why am i of all people stuck working in a language that has no third option, which facilitates a culture that all but forbids a third option?)
the [androgynous] Taiwanese woman in the front of the room explains how second-language learners [can] have trouble with English pronouns because there are no gendered pronouns or verb conjugations in Chinese....the professor asks how you know from context if you're talking about a male or a female, and then doesn't understand when the student explains that it doesn't matter unless it's of particular interest, in which case you ask...."the important thing for me is that the person is washing the car"....the girl next to me whispers, "that's crazy," and all i can think to respond is, "why?"
...i get so distracted by gender theory that i can't concentrate on what i'm supposed to be learning...
5 comments:
Thank you for explaining this. I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful earlier.
What you describe here is exactly one reason of many why the profession needs you. Every field needs people *on the inside* who think differently and perceive the world differently than the majority of the people already entrenched in the field's (and/or predominant culture's) tradition. That's the only way anything is going to change.
~B.
thank you. i think that sometimes. and then i think, I'm going to get fired if i refuse to treat this aspect of "disordered language" on the basis that i don't think it's important when everyone around me does. and then i think of pharmacists who refuse to fill prescriptions for birth control, and how if you have a moral opposition to some part of your job that directly affects the well-being of other humans, you should probably find another job.
One important part of that question, though, is: does it really "directly affect the well-being of other humans?" By refusing to comply with the teaching of the gender binary, aren't we opening the minds of others (or at least making the rules a little more flexible)? Isn't this how we can, in some small way, put an end to the perpetration of both physical and psychological violence that results from society's supposed need to have only two simplistic options for which to categorize people in this world?
If you truly love what you are doing and if you truly believe in what you are doing, then I return to what I said earlier: it is the people with whom you work who will make all the difference. Find a place of work where binary gender isn't so important, where you can teach children "yes, this is what society calls "woman"; this is what society calls "man", but these are just suggestions; you can be whoever you want." Isn't that what we [want to] teach our children anyway? We just haven't come to the point where we have applied this to gender. That point is coming. If you can stand the journey it takes to get there, I think you would be one of the perfect people to make that societal/professional/philosophical shift.
If you can't or don't want to go through that journey, then perhaps you're right: you'll have to find a job where binary gender isn't so important *and* where you can still make a positive impact on the lives of others. In one way or another, I think all jobs in this society, outside of the queer community (and yes, even inside of it!) are infiltrated with notions of binary gender. It's part of the mainstream culture; it will always be a struggle. It's up to us to decide how we want to react to that struggle.
~B.
thank you again for this. i literally cried about this last night when i got into a conversation about it, because i want to do this work so badly, but i'm afraid my politics are going to keep me from it and i don't know if i can stand up to that. i guess the real questions are, whose well-being is more important, and what kind of well-being should we prioritize for each person? it certainly won't be good for my mental health to spend days or even a half-hour at a time sitting on the floor with a kid going, "this is a boy, and he is sleeping, and this is a girl and she is eating."
somebody i was talking to last night made a very good point, that even if i don't agree with what society says or does, that person stills needs to learn how to get along in it, because it is what exists. if 90% of the population says "this a boy and this is a girl and that's the end," then young people who are just figuring out how to interact with others are going to need to know that. the fun part is, they can also be taught that there's 10% of the population who doesn't think that way (percentages completely arbitrary). the point struck home because it's pretty much exactly what i want to do: i don't particularly care how or whether people communicate, but i want to give them the tools to do it if they so choose.
thank you most of all for your faith in my ability to, i don't know, fight the system? ;)
i've only known you as a fighter. :)
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