stream-of-consciousness viii

i am hating itunes and my ipod right now. i had to wipe my ipod because it wouldn't talk to my computer anymore, and now itunes won't run to put music back on it. i've tried to "end the nonresponsive program" three times now and it still won't go away. ctrl+alt+del. do it.....still not working. right-clicking in the start bar didn't work either. five times. i hate my computer. i kinda want a new one, but at the same time i'm afraid i'll need to get one. if i do, i'm making it a mac. enough of this shit. but i'd rather not spend the money and i won't be able to get my parents to do it for me. they just bought my brother a computer for his high school graduation, and it was a dell because dells are cheapest. (read: that's what i'm dealing with right now.) i actually have no idea if my problems have to do with the kind of computer i'm using. but i choose to believe that getting a different kind of computer can't hurt.

i wrote something today. it almost had a plot. not really. but i got very excited about it, because i don't write things often. at least, not things like that. i write in my journal almost every day, and i write stuff here on occasion (still not very often, but more often than i write things that i think of as "writing"; we could argue about that sometime)

i don't like that parenthesis and the way it makes the sentence go but this is stream-of-consciousness so i'm leaving it.

i might post it at some point. who knows. i need a tag for "fiction." i just started tagging things. i don't know if that's useful. somebody got in touch with me over facebook saying he'd read a bunch of my poetry, so maybe he used it. that would make it useful.

i went to a party tonight, but i swear i'm sober. my roommate doesn't believe me, but it's true. you're not going to believe me either, because people who insist on their sobriety usually don't possess it. believe what you want. i know what's true.

fucking itunes. fucking computer.

anyway, the party was good. i won't write about it too much. good company and fun times. and who knows what other people will remember in the morning.

i'm debating just going to bed. i'm waiting for someone to call me. at one o'clock on friday morning. the thing is, as i discussed with my roommate just a few minutes ago, no matter what i might do earlier in the evening, there's still only one person i really want to be going back to at the end of the night.

who would have thought that would change.

if you're reading this (an earlier you), which i assume you're not but you might be......i don't know what i hope your reaction is so i can't anticipate it or

FUCKING ITUNES!!!

...so i can't anticipate it or respond to it. but i'm okay with you now, and i hope you're okay with me....that's what i was getting at in that email, and i'm not sure you understood. i should have just said it straightforwardly.

i know that some things don't belong on the internet, but i did that in the last two stream-of-consciousnesses at least. this is all going up. i'm not saying anything harmful, and i don't believe i'm even saying anything particularly insensitive.

my window is open and there's almost a breeze. it is 66 degrees outside, or so my taskbar tells me. fucking itunes. why won't my computer work.

i wrote something today....

and why won't you call. i might just go to bed; what an idea.

i don't know how i feel about that.

i wonder when i should stop this. phone!!