one of the most significant acts of allyship i have witnessed is when people in heterosexual relationships refer to their significant others, spouses or otherwise, as "partners." in queering their own relationships through the use of a non-gendered term, specifically one that is customarily applied to same- or similar-gender relationships, these people support the idea that it is not the gender of one's partner that is important--it is the commitment between two people that is important. i love hearing people mention their partner and then use a gendered pronoun i wasn't expecting!
so here is my suggestion for straight allies who want to know what else they can do: start using the word "partner." spread acceptance of the term--and the idea--by applying it to your own privilege.
5 comments:
I agree completely about this to be honest, great post as always buddy.
I love the nuances expressed in this post.
I have mixed feelings about the term "partner," but mainly because I've heard so many other non-mainstream (and non-English-language) terms to which I have more direct connection. (Schnitt, for example, comes to mind: it describes the metaphor of one puzzle piece (or person/partner) interlocking with another. The term is non-gendered.) Of course, using obscure language does not promote acceptance; it may even alienate potential allies. Faced with few alternatives, I then agree with you: more frequent, widespread use of the term "partner" would be beneficial.
On a not-quite-related note: your phrasing of "it is not the gender of one's partner that is important" reminded me of the poem, "Distractions" by Lenelle Moïse:
http://music.lenellemoise.com/track/distractions .
~B.
Edit: "this" post refers to your post, of course, not mine!
interesting poem!
i like the idea of "Schnitt." =)
yes
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