there are a few things in Boston that are going to take some getting used to after living in Pittsburgh. i've thought to write about them, but one in particular has grabbed my attention lately.
it's so great to live in a city with functional mass transit. they have the T system really well worked out here: trains run frequently, fares are reasonable, and you can use them to get pretty much everywhere. but the subway cars are always crowded. the seats are arranged like a cross between the D.C. metro and the NYC subway, with some facing forward/backward and a fair number along the sides of the car. there's plenty of room for standers as well.
here's what i've noticed: the only people who offer to give up their seats to anyone are women. one man did offer his seat to me last week, but he was middle-aged and clearly from out of town (visiting his college-aged daughter and her boyfriend, who were both seated near him and his wife), and only after i offered my seat to an elderly woman who got on the train a few stops after us. outwardly-appearing male people under the age of 40 never offer their seats to anyone. not all outwardly-appearing female people do, but with that one exception, all the people i've seen do so have been women or girls.
this gets me thinking. ever since i figured out that gender roles are not black-and-white, i've tried to be chivalrous. that is, i try to treat people with respect, and i try to treat women with a special level of it. part of this is the lesbian in me, hoping she will notice, and part of this is the gender rebel in me, trying to make people go what-the-fuck. but i never expect other women to behave this way; i always expect that men should.
if there is one seat left on the train and Chance and i are together, i always get to sit down.
the conclusion i'm drawing is, chivalry is not dead. chivalry will not die as long as there are butches.
the subsequent question: how does this relate to the still-foreign concept of outwardly heteronormative women performing chivalrous acts that their masculine counterparts do not?
2 comments:
Chivalry is dead man, I swear. Cool blog though.
that the person i am with possess chivalry has long since been moved to my "must have" list.
one could argue that the specific term "chivalry" could become archaic if people, no matter gender, age, or sex choose to start consciously functioning with the "golden rule" in the forefront of their mind.
If i worked standing up for 8hrs i normally don't offer up my seat to anyone except elderly, disabled, pregnant, and people holding infants while everyone else is case by case. i also examine the type of shoes the person is wearing if they look younger than 50; how many bags do they have to keep track of; are there bags under their eyes; do they look emotionally distraught in any way etc lol
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