17 April 2010

scattered thoughts

i need to find a dvd copy of the movie The Point.
i want to drive for hours but i don't want to pay any tolls and i want to end up somewhere. i want a moon roof. and good music.
i am learning about and understanding Trust in ways i never have before, and in ways i didn't know i could.
i want to have a long conversation with my father, over drinks and vinyl records and other things.
my therapist suggested to me that maybe procrastination and time-management aren't mutually exclusive, and that maybe the fact that i've done well so far is in fact a sign that i know exactly how much time i have to procrastinate. i don't want to agree, but it kind of makes sense.
i need a cleansing period.
i need to see the ocean.
i like that there have been so many earthquakes lately and i'm excited to see what happens with this icelandic volcano.
i want to go to the grocery store and the exchange.
i'm not scared of parallel parking anymore.
i need to find the job that will make getting up at 6:00 on a Saturday easy, like my brother apparently has.
i am proud of my brother. never doubt that.
i want to see her again this weekend, but if i don't get the chance, sitting on her lap for a couple hours at the bar and talking to other people will have been enough.
i want to travel.
i want to travel.
i want to travel.
i am looking for a new place to live after pittsburgh. i love it here, but there is too much time left and too much left to see.
Pittsburgh will always feel like home, in all the most important ways. that conversation was too important to transcribe.
i want to be somewhere i can walk across bridges at 1AM with no concern for my safety, and have my breath taken away by a beautiful, familiar view.

the lesson for this week:
i deserve to have what i want, as long as i know how to ask for it.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

1. I have a feeling that if you took all the backroads and kept driving and driving, you would end up somewhere without having to pay any tolls. Of course the moon roof and good music would be essential.

2. I'm also excited to see what happens with this Icelandic volcano. I love how humans are forced to stop for Nature for once. That said, I'm not yet sure how to reconcile the awe-inspiring sheer force of the earthquakes with the lives affected and lost.

3. This week's lesson is an interesting one. I'm still thinking about it.

~B.

Aurora Borealis_23 said...

yes, i like this post a lot. too much time left and too much left to see- indeed!!!

Ragged Man said...

I have also turned procrastination into something approaching a science. By the end of my senior year, I knew pretty much exactly how many hours I needed to leave myself to finish a paper. Those hours all came the night before the paper was due. This is a terrible way to do things, but it's still time management.

Also, I like much that you have written here. I'm very ready to be traveling, and starting to think about life beyond Pittsburgh as well.

Oh, and as far as cool natural "disasters" go, could we maybe get a large-scale EMP that knocks out the entire power grid for maybe three days? At least in the parts of the world where it's not winter?