jitters

i feel shaky, and i'm not sure why. i thought maybe it was because i hadn't eaten properly, but every time i listen to "tainted love" it gets worse. this is not a good sign. i kinda have to not be nervous just from hearing that song. maybe it's because of the proposition i want to make that could totally be taken the wrong way. argh....

girls are trouble.

i'm probably more interested in whatever you're doing than in whatever i'm doing right now. you probably don't read this. that's probably a good thing. if you did, would you know i was writing about you? and would that be a good thing....

people need to stop happening to me. i need to go be a hermit in the woods or something, until i figure out how to deal with people. but then, if i went to be a hermit in the woods, i wouldn't really learn how to deal with people, would i? you kind of need experience to learn how to do things.

i don't even know what to say at this point. i'm scared to say anything, to anyone, but i'm dying for conversation. we should have coffee soon. yes, you. you're the only one who reads this anyway. or maybe not coffee, since i'm jittery already. hm.

i wonder....let's see if this helps.

neat. that was a pretty color. i think. i second-guess them a lot still. (yeah...we really should talk soon.)

it seems to still be true that everything i could do would be wrong, but somehow i also know that's not true. which is reassuring and terrifying, because there's a lot more pressure that way to do [choose] the right thing.

i'm enjoying the itunes network right now. and the smiths, or at least the one song. i need to read perks again. and a wrinkle in time. and a bunch of other things i still haven't gotten around to. you told me once that your reading list should never stop growing, but what if it only grows? it doesn't do much good to have a reading list and never read anything on it....

i'm worried about a couple i know. that always sucks. it's nice to have a couple you can live vicariously through when you can't seem to keep from fucking up relationships. but when they have problems....where do you go?

i feel a little calmer now. maybe i'll try to read some of that stuff i'm supposed to be doing for class....right.