lesson:

from an elderly woman who tried to pinch my bottom to find out if it met her standards, after i told her, "excuse me, that's mine!":

"you ain't been in this game long enough to tell me how it goes!"

thought:

i find very interesting
the relationship between
the person we want to be
& the person we want to be with.

lesson

she's been ventilator-dependent for months. she relies on others for everything. we can barely rouse her when we come into the room. and yet you are clinging to some fictional time when she will be "just like she was before," insisting that "she's a fighter" and she'll get through this.

i wish i could tell you that the best fighters know when they're beaten.

irritations:

i got an email today from someone at the Human Rights Campaign with the subject line "Catholic Schools Expelling Children of Gay Parents." well, duh. they're Catholic schools and they can expel whomever they want. this is nothing to "take action" about. particularly while the Pope is a Nazi.

many people who have children don't want them, and many people who want children can't have them.

if you weren't sending me into the room to feed your elderly mother, who looks like she's in constant pain, can't move any of her limbs, and can barely even breathe on her own, she would have died peacefully already. if you care enough about keeping her alive, come visit and feed her yourself--but if you really care about her, let her go.

neither my partner's outwardly apparent gender nor their genitals define my sexual orientation. each is misleading, and only the combination of the two will tell you anything at all, but you're still missing a crucial part of the picture.

morning

mother is
the sound of a spoon in a teacup
when you don't want to admit being awake
but are glad to know someone else is.

brief note

finals are over. now it's may. going out of town for the week.
trying to write more on paper, but like all of my self-imposed goals, that one's hard to meet.
also starting a few sketches in word docs--some of those are turning up interesting.