stream-of-consciousness II

so i have no idea what to write here, but i know i need to write something. i really should go back to my paper journal because i didn't get the chance last night and that would probably help more, but here i can be all vague and intriguing and shit like that.

it's really just ridiculous. but i was having a good talk with jen this morning which hopefully i will be able to continue later.

my contacts in my cell phone must look absolutely ridiculous to anyone who isn't me. secret symbols and whatnot....i think that's still on the board on the door, too. i hope so. all of us who have message boards should have one.

someday soon i'll need to use this computer for actual work, not just playing around. and i want to turn off the excess lights in this room....

yay for opening the windows!

i think it's silly; i've been in this city for 4 days where supposedly it rains all the time, and it's been sunny every day. at least that's nice for walking outside a lot, which i've had to do a bit of.

i should probably find something productive to do today but i don't wanna. things i need to do before classes start:
1) find where all my classes are so i can get to them in a reasonable amount of time and without getting lost
2) check out that other bookstore and see if i can find anything for cheaper.

you know, i don't think that will work because i just looked at my receipt and i can only return books if i drop a course. damn.

i'm finding more and more things about this school that piss me off. don't get me wrong, i love it here and i'm looking forward to spending time here, but some of the bureaucratic operations (books being the least of them, i'm sure) are a pain in the ass. like last night. that was just ridiculous. for so many reasons....

((but entirely worth it.))

semicolons are my favorite punctuation mark.

and tonight i can use my desk lamp! which is actually on the dresser which i'm using for a nightstand....yay for inaccurate descriptions of household objects. but i finally got a new lightbulb, which may not make sense to anyone who doesn't live here/know me because i haven't put the story up. it's not very interesting. basically i had an old lightbulb which was a bad idea and i was trying to fix it when it didn't turn on and it broke in my hand. but not in a painful way.

sometime in the foreseeable future i'm going to have to do laundry.

i should find out where that transfer student thing is because supposedly i am meeting people there... oh good. i have a class in that building. and i know i walked past it monday night...which means i still have no idea where it is.

i think this has gotten long enough. more later perhaps.

oh by the way i somehow ended up on the facebook. *shudders*

three more days

it feels like i should be writing something. i like writing. i have three days left at home.

you know those things you can't stop thinking about and then think you should be able to stop thinking about them but you don't even want to because they're just so wonderful?

yeah. my life is like that.

it can be a little distracting....i'm supposed to be packing. but then, it helps too...

lately i'm exhausted much earlier than i should be. like wanting to go to bed at eight o'clock. it's insane. gotta do something about this.

at least i'm done shopping....

i also shouldn't write when the television is on. i get distracted easily. i have a very short attention span. that explains the short sentences i suppose....my sentences get longer when i'm concentrating.

ha....life is good. and it's about to get even better.

sonnet 42

the only word describing how i feel
when such a look's received, i think, is "read";
i have no choice believing this is real
when these such looks i get see through my head
and to my soul, where deepest secrets lie.
a blessing 'tis to be so sweetly known,
especially when days pass swiftly by
and ere we know the day's begun, it's flown.
a blessing greater 'tis to realize
that in a look received's a look returned--
what greater love exists than in her eyes
when to them my unworthy gaze is turned?
nothing else will matter in the world
if i am loved by this amazing girl.

8/7/05
(aside: a sonnet-worthy occasion? you begin to see the scope of my silliness. and the limits of my rhyme.)

the continuing saga of american stupidity.

i pity foreigners. they have to put up with all the stupid shit americans do. i mean, the stuff we do in our own country is bad enough, but then we have to go and infect the whole rest of the world with it.

i will not travel until i learn the language of the country i want to visit.

i had something that particularly incensed me today that i wanted to write about, but now i'm too tired to remember what it was.....it might have had to do with the parents of young children. oh, oh, it was definitely the rudeness of using a hand basket to gather groceries in the store and then putting the whole basket, full, on the conveyor belt and expecting the cashier to remove the items for you.

please don't do that.

for one thing, it's a waste of time--yours, the cashier's, and the people's behind you. for another, it really pisses us off. we are not your slaves....no matter how much you might like to think we are. we're paid. we have a union, for chrissake. and then you get mad at us if we say anything to you! come on now. god forbid we fellow human beings assert ourselves....

then there was the lady who finished paying for her order today and handed me this little pamphlet, "something to read in your spare time...it's bible based, but it's very positive, not like all the other stuff we hear so much of nowadays."

i collect these. i think they're hilarious. silly jehovahs witnesses. and other groups, too....my favorite one had to be the one i pulled off a telephone pole on long island, the one called "Are Roman Catholics Really Christians?" oh man....i laughed. really, if you're trying to convert people, handing them pamphlets while they are at their job is not the way to do it. at least she put her own stuff on the belt.

y'know, non-christians never do things like that. you never hear about muslims going door-to-door.

the other thing that i have never understood about jehovah's witnesses is that their conversion tactics seem counterintuitive. jehovahs witnesses believe that only 144,000 people--literally--will be allowed into the kingdom of heaven. so why do they keep trying to convert people? shouldn't they be trying to keep everyone else away, so they can ensure a space for themselves? and what happens if good people have been dying for so long that heaven is already full? i mean, after thousands of years of human history, we've gotta be getting close. how will they know when to give up? i welcome comments on this, just don't try to convert me because it isn't going to work.


there is hope.
yesterday i was ringing up a woman and her son, and the boy had downs syndrome. he had the most wonderful laugh i have ever heard in my life.