shit.

my hard drive just died.

currently seeking recommendations. my options are as follows:
1) replace the hard drive on my 2 1/2 year old Dell and hope for the best
2) buy a Macintosh
3) buy a non-Dell PC

also seeking sympathy, and people who live close to me who may be willing to let me use their computers. and someone who can retrieve my data for free or cheap (i have two leads on that one already).

mix tape i

the Run is in 3 days!!! i'm only spazzing out a little. i haven't done any homework yet this week....why start now?

high energy mix for the Run:
1) Everytime We Touch - Cascada
2) real world - Matchbox Twenty
3) Drain You - Nirvana
4) I Wanna Be Sedated - the Ramones
5) Growing On Me - the Darkness
6) Fight For Your Right - Beastie Boys
7) Woman - Wolfmother
8) I'll Make A Man Out Of You - from "Mulan"
9) Molly's Lips - Nirvana
10) Paint It Black - the Rolling Stones
11) Where's the Love - Hanson (yeah, i said it)
12) Even Flow - Pearl Jam
13) I'm On My Way - the Proclaimers
14) In Your Honor - Foo Fighters
15) sorry to burden you - No Way Josie
16) Festival Song - Good Charlotte
17) Drive My Car - the Beatles
18) Sheep Go to Heaven - Cake
19) Time Warp - from "Rocky Horror Picture Show"
20) i want you - Savage Garden
21) Blister in the Sun - Violent Femmes
22) No Rain - Blind Melon
23) Still Here Waiting - Eve 6

Sonnet 58

if god had laid a plan for us to choose
those traits of others which we would prefer,
it stands to reason we'd have much to lose,
for that decision no one would defer,
and we would over-choose til all were gone.
if i'd remove that trait, and you'd take this,
but not elect another trait to don,
our prey would be worn down til breeze's kiss
could blow whatever's left of her away,
across the land where full folks would meet birth
before their worse selves were forbade to stay,
and soon no rounded person's left on Earth.
so this is why dissatisfaction's best:
if we could fix displeasure, who'd be left?
--11/3/2007

today, by the numbers:

2: episodes of pete & pete i watched this morning
3: times i rode the 59U
7: new pairs of underwear i bought (bottom)
2: closed stores i attempted to visit
2: stores i purchased things at
38.60: dollars i charged
3: dollars i owe another person (not the invisible credit card company)
106.50: dollars currently owed to me
17: dirty dishes in my sink
6: days until Regionals
14: days until the Run
22: days until Avenue Q
26: days until my Deaf Culture portfolio is due
38: days until my semester ends
0: pages of homework i've read/written/thought about so far this weekend

Sonnet 57

two new sonnets brought to us today by my morality & medicine class, a lack of sleep, and a possible overdose of allergy medicine (although i'm not quite sure). only one of them is getting posted right now because the other one is too personal and relevant at the moment. the reference is to Thanatopsis, for anyone who needs it.

---

Bryant spoke of lasting unity,
wherein the dead would reunite with Earth,
but one neglected detail ruins the
assumption: we are separate from birth.
his optimism i admired once,
and on a better day, i will again,
but now i feel he must have been a dunce!
i'll live and die as if there were no friends.
the Earth? a grave, a deep or shallow hole.
there is no comfort waiting in the dirt.
a fool would make his burial his goal,
but life is no less lonely, i'll assert.
his promise is no promise. it's been shown:
all living things on Earth will die alone.

stream-of-consciousness xi

procrastination

something about how this is words for the sake of words, and why is that necessary. i wish i had something more profound to say. i wish i had something to say. but if i have nothing to say, why am i writing? and why do i not write when i do have something to say? sometimes. that's what the last realization was about, for anyone who was wondering: but i don't want to elaborate because it would defeat the purpose. and here i go, defeating the purpose.

whenever i think about studying, all i want to do is sleep. actually it's quite often that all i want to do is sleep.

dave & busters today was fun. i think. it was not un-fun. i can't really take too much of shiny blinky places like that--they're too loud. and the sort of people i want to spend time with are not usually there. but it was kinda fun. i like coming out accidentally through the use of pronouns. i like it even better when i do it and then someone else at the table does, too. that was pretty awesome. and quite unexpected. because she hesitated when she caught that i had done it, and then later when we were alone she did the same. (because i thought she hesitated when...)

i should be studying. i want to take a nap. what is stream-of-consciousness anyway.....i don't think it actually happens. oh james joyce.....i wish i had the time and patience to read your work. ben. the firings of neurons.....myelin.

enough of this nonsense. let's post entries that are diametrically opposed to each other.

pictures to play with

these are some things i want available to play with for my profile or other uses. i'd hide this post but i don't know how.